Social Media

For the first time in a while, I'm incredible bored at work. I've decided to post something simply because I can.

The only metaphor I've come up with for Facebook, is a long and tortured one. I'll tell you about it anyway.

Let's say I'm a lab rat, used to run mazes, tread wheels, and illustrate my meager ability to "learn." Let's say that I've "learned" that hitting a lever in my cage gives me a food pellet. And then a catastrophic and instantaneous disease kills all of humanity but is harmless to rats like me. Mr. Scientist Man lies dead on the floor, bleeding from all orifices. Curious I might think, if I think, but I get over it. I cruise right along, and when I'm hungry - being a non-future-oriented Rat - I eat my remaining store of pellets. And then it's empty. And it's never refilled. I'm wasting away. There are no more pellets. Nothing. This is me with Facebook. I go to it, 4-5 times a day, "hitting the lever" if you will, hoping for something interesting, insightful, enlightening.

But instead what I get is largely a metaphorical nothing. (blank) has taken the "Which Gummi Bear are you?" quiz and found out that he is Gusto Gummi. (blank) is bored at work and is telling you about it. (blank) would like to inform you of the life happenings of their housecat. (blank person, born/raised in Missouri) has taken the "What level of Missourian are you?" with the answer: native. SHOCKING. (Blank) has found a story about the world's largest hot dog. (Blank) has invited you to do something random in Farmtown. And yes, that one is always my mother. Always. I don't even know what the hell Farmtown is. And I know, mentally if nothing else, people are loading their slingshots and crossbows to bring up Twitter. But at least on Twitter there's some funny stuff, and a motivation to create it. Facebook is nothing more than folderol.

Yeah, I need to shut up. Yeah, I'm an asshole. But a bored asshole.