I'll admit, I was surprised

Another long post, this one about Mizzou football. You have been warned.

Praise all that you find holy, for high-level organized football has returned. The big stories will be OU's loss of both its first game and its quarterback at the hands of BYU, Oklahoma State's new-found semblance of a defense, and whomever wins the unwatchable shitfest between VaTech and Alabama. Following closely behind will be tales of how storied programs Notre Dame, Michigan, and Tennessee all discovered that they can - and in fact, are encouraged to - score against lesser opponents. Talk of the winner of next week's Michigan-Notre Dame game being a 'title' contender can't be far behind. Regardless, my biased ass is most interested in Mizzou's performance today in St. Louis.

First, let me lament that this is the final iteration of the cheesily-titled "Arch Rivalry" game between Mizzou and Illinois. Ironically, my sadness is not based on Mizzou's 5 straight victories over the Illini. Instead, I think playing Illinois in St. Louis has helped Mizzou's recruiting efforts both in the Lou and in the state of Illinois. Better yet, as a fan I enjoyed seeing Mizzou's opening game against a fellow BCS conference opponent on national television. Finally, the end of the series is just another symbol of the "cupcakification" of college football scheduling. Teams like playing inferior opponents early in the season, gobbling up the easy revenue while padding their record with easy wins. Myself, well, I don't believe this to be a good thing.

Mizzou lost 6 players to the 2009 NFL draft, and several more players to graduation. They were supposed to be way down this season. Many, including yours truly, expected little more than basic bowl eligibility. Las Vegas pegged them as a 7 point underdog to Illinois. Most CFB pundits had them losing by 10-14 points. Instead, they spanked the Illini to the tune of 4 touchdowns, 37-9. I thought Mizzou would win, mostly because I've seen enough of the Juice Williams/Ron Zook partnership to know that Illinois is its own worst enemy. However, I didn't expect a blowout of these proportions.

There are inevitable qualifications: yes, it was just one game. Even if it was a 'neutral site', it was still a 65% Mizzou crowd. Illinois came in weakened by injuries, and that only got worse as the game wore on. While these all may be true, it was unquestionably an impressive performance by the Tigers, one that can only increase fan's hopes for this season.

Blaine Gabbert was the star of the game and appeared for all the world to be the best player on the field for either team. Gabbert was a 5 star, blue chip recruit coming out of high school, possessing the prototypical NFL body (6'5", 240lbs), an absolute cannon of a throwing arm, and deceptive quickness and running speed. Mizzou only landed him after the Bill Callahan program crumbled at Nebraska, and at the time it seemed quite the coup for Gary Pinkel's staff. If today's performance is any indication, Gabbert is all that he was expected to be - and that, my friends, is saying something. As a true sophomore making his first ever college start, he completed 76% of his passes for 319 yards and three TDs while contributing 39 yards on the ground (actually more before his total was adjusted for sacks) and a rushing TD. He was not quite perfect but he was damn good - far better than Mizzou fans had a right to expect. Add in the pressure of playing in his hometown against a Big 10 opponent (while following his school's 2 biggest QB legends) and it was definitely Blaine Gabbert's day.

Mizzou lost all purpose stud Jeremy Maclin to the NFL, but wide receiver is still a team strength. As a fan, it warmed my heart to see the return of a full-strength Danario Alexander. Danario had a strong effort in the 2007 Illini game, but also sustained a wrist injury in that game that would keep him out for the rest of the regular season. He returned for the Big 12 title game against Oklahoma, only to blow out his knee. The knee injury led to 3 surgeries over the course of 14 months, and meant that the 2008 season - although he did see some snaps and scored 5 TDs - was not played at 100%. Today we saw the Danario of old (10 catches, 132 yds): a long, lanky Texan with tremendous straight line speed and a quickness belied by his height. Meanwhile, Jared Perry - a fellow Texan who showed me enough last year that I expected him to be Maclin's main replacement in '09 - contributed 4 catches for 93 yds, including a 46yd TD catch on a WR screen. Among the youngsters, Gabbert's favorite target was his fellow sophomore St. Louisan, Wes Kemp, a summer practice standout. Kemp caught 4 for 77, including a 49yd TD and a key acrobatic sideline catch on a pivotal third down.

While the QB was fantastic and the WRs showed they could pick up the slack from last year's exits, perhaps the most surprising thing about this game was the "9" on the Illinois side of the scoreboard. In 2007 and 2008, defense was Mizzou's greatest weakness. The Illini put up 76 points in these teams' last two meetings. Mizzou returned 10 of its 11 opening day starters on defense last year, which apparently motivated then-defensive coordinator Matt Eberflus to try something entirely new. Building off of his squad's experience, Eberflus decided, (to the best of my knowledge) that playing "defense" in a traditional sense was inappropriate. Instead, Mizzou would use its 11 defenders as pieces in a massive piece of aerially-photographed performance art. Covering receivers, stopping the offense, those things were unimportant. Importance instead lay in how pretty his defensive formation looked to him up in the booth. (William Moore led division 1 in interceptions in 2007 you say? Well, let's have him blitz every down and totally remove him from pass coverage, his strength. THIS WILL BE MY GREATEST TRIUMPH EVER!!!!) You may have discerned that I blame Mizzou's defensive awfulness last season on Matt Eberflus. And you'd be right. There was defensive talent on that team, talent that was repeatedly misused and mis-spaced by the coaching staff. Only Sean Weatherspoon had a great season (leading the conference in tackles), and that was likely in spite of, not due to, coaching. When you're a 6'2", 240lb man who runs a sub 4.5 second 40 yard dash and operates like a heat-seeking missile - only with "ball" substituted for "heat" - you'll probably be successful on defense. When I tried to argue my coaching point to Mizzou fans online, I was told I was being too negative. Negative, yes, Too? Hardly. I'm no X's and O's defensive specialist, but I am smart enough to know that if somebody shits in my hand, my hand is subsequently holding a pile of shit.

Thankfully, the Cleveland Browns asked Eberflus to bring his unique brand of defensive synchronized swimming to the NFL in the offseason, and he accepted. This might be the best thing to happen to Mizzou football all year. Eberflus was replaced by former US Marine Dave Steckel. I didn't know a goddamned thing about Dave Steckel, aside from the one thing I needed to know about Dave Steckel: he wasn't Matt Eberflus. His defense gave up 9 points against Illinois, even if the blue and orange helped them out quite a bit. I'll take it.

Next week Mizzou returns to Columbia to take on Bowling Green, a school notable to me for 2 reasons: 1. my time at Purdizzle means that I know a disproportionate number of BGSU grads, and 2. they have an ass ugly brown and orange color scheme. BGSU and the patented "Clawfense" might be better than Illinois. They might not. Regardless, for a week at least, it feels good to be a Tiger fan.