I must say dear friends, that I am truly flustered. I don't expect the Chiefs to be a good football team, mind you. However, I also don't expect them to make idiotic play calls seemingly targeted at anything but winning.
Here's what you've missed:
- The Chiefs offense is ugly. Ass ugly. Idiotic playcalling, poor execution, and propensity to move backwards. Runs on 2nd and 12 and 2nd and 16 boggle my mind. Shit, try to get 5, 6 yards. You don't have to try to get 12 in one play, but running for 0 yards essentially fucks you for 3rd down.
- The Dallas Cowboys are also ugly. Muffed punt that the Chiefs recovered deep in Cowboys territory, moved 5 yards backwards over three offensive plays, and then kicked a field goal. Chiefs lead 3-0. Next Cowboys possession there's a botch snap that the Chiefs also recovered, and hopefully will score again. Thanks to Cowboy incompetence the Chiefs won't be shut out today, and in fact just scored another TD. 10-0 Chiefs thanks and only thanks to the Cowboys mistakes.
- Kudos to Troy Aikman for congratulating the Dodgers and their recent sweep of the Cardinals, likely pissing off Cardinals homer Joe Buck in the process.
- Todd Haley apparently told the tv crew that linebacker Mike Vrabel is better than any tight end on the Chiefs squad. One hopes that he and Senor Pioli realize that they created that situation.
- Question of the day: what's more frustrating? Watching a talented team suck (the Cowboys), or a disastrously not-talented team suck (the Chiefs)? Probably the talented team, I would guess (extra disappointment factor)
- As far as the Chiefs defense, the pass rush still isn't much. Rookie Donald Washington can't cover anything, not even the umpire. Corey Mays is my favorite player on this defense - whether that's good or bad remains to be seen. Yeah, he just whiffed on a tackle, but more than once this game he's hit Marion Barber and stopped him cold. Barber is one of the strongest bowling ball backs in the league - although admittedly not at 100%.
- The Boys' Flozell Adams is apparently a Pro-Bowl left tackle. I can only surmise that last year's brain was replaced with a household plant. Penalty-machine: false starts, tripping, holding, he does it all, and some of them this season should have led to a suspension. In fact, Tamba Hali just went one-on-one with Adams and embarrassed the big man badly.
- I'll likely eat these words, but I do hope the recent series of events gives my Chefs (intentional) some momentum. The Big MO is something they haven't really had at any point this season, and they desperately could use some.
- Hey, Dwayne Bowe just made a catch. Yes, he's still on the team. He even plays a down or two. Amazing. His big play is immediately followed by a crippling sack. Matt Cassel enjoys being sacked, that's the only explanation. It is, at this juncture, his greatest skill. Terrible incomplete pass on 2nd down and now we have 3rd and 18. After a few minutes of quality play, this is the 2009 Chiefs football that I know and don't love.
- Unrelated: my fantasy football team has a laughable receiving corps. Mind you, I didn't alter my team at all this week until 30 minutes before game time - forgot about it - but I did debate starting Jeremy Maclin for shits and giggles. I didn't do it. Fittingly, at this point he's nearly outscored my entire starting lineup. Good for native Missourian and Mizzou product Maclin. Bad for my shitty fantasy team.
- I'm pretty sure this is where the wheels fall off. Chiefs are gifted a 10 point lead against a superior opponent. Superior opponent realizes that it's losing by 10 points to the Chiefs, and actually begins to try. On this drive the Cowboys are picking apart the Chiefs pass coverage, and the wreck of the Good Ship Chiefsypop is quite possible. Dum de dum, nothing to see here folks. just another failed Chiefs blitz, another passing first down. 1st and Goal Dallas. God, please grant Tony Romo the strength to fail as only he can. 2 minute warning and let's hope we hold them to a field goal. And we do. 10-3 KC. Thank you Dallas receivers for not catching those 2 balls.
- Apparently the refs missed a helmet-to-helmet call on Safety John McGraw. I call it karma for the blatant Dallas fumble the refs fucked us out of in Quarter 1.
- 202 total yards for Dallas, 61 for KC. Aside from the Oakland game, this embarrassing ratio is about normal for the Chiefs this season.
- Jamaal Charles just caught a kickoff in the corner of the field at the one yard line. He then returns it to the 12. Chiefs football. Catch the painful, infectious rash. The Chiefs are sticking to their modus operandi, not attempting at all to score in the 2 minute drill. In Todd Haley's new vision of football, scoring is tangential to winning, not imperative.
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