A Mustache

It's not that a mustache would look good on my notoriously youthful face, nor that I really even want one. It's nice not to have a five o'clock shadow, even now, 48 hours after shaving. It's just maddening that I couldn't grow one even if I wanted to, not in six days nor six months. Everytime I see the incomparable Sam Elliott in a film it's like his upper lip is taunting me with its excellence.